‘Their needs are always put first’: Kid refuses to accommodate step-siblings' allergies during birthday dinner, purposely choosing a restaurant they can't eat at, family dispute ensues

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    "I didn't even want them there"
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    AITA for picking a restaurant my stepsiblings couldn't eat at?
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    My uncle brought me out to eat on Saturday because he wasn't here for my 16th birthday three weeks ago. He had to take my stepsiblings (13f, 11m) with us. He's not their step-uncle btw. He's
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    my mom's brother. Stepsiblings are my dad's stepkids. But my uncle and dad used to be best friends but their friendship ended when my mom d. d 7 years ago. Things are messy because my uncle still
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    wants to see me and I want to see him but dad doesn't want my stepsiblings left out so they get dragged around sometimes.
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    Something kinda relevant is that my stepsiblings have (not- anaphylactic kind) food allergies. Their allergies are different from each other and they get rashes and puking and stuff from eating foods
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    they're allergic to. This has become such a focus for my dad and their mom that I don't get to eat at places I like, even when my stepsiblings aren't there, because it's not fair. I'm also the only
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    person in the "family" (I think it's more a burden than a family) who never gets to have my favorite restaurant on rotation for eating out. My dad, his wife and both my stepsiblings get their #1 choice but
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    because mine doesn't easily accommodate my stepsiblings I can't have it. All of my top 5 are out. Even for stuff like my birthday. I hate it. I resent it. I don't have the family affection or mushiness for
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    them to make it easier. I just basically sack it up. But when my uncle was taking me I chose my top choice. And he took us. My stepsiblings didn't eat. I
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    didn't even feel bad because their needs are always put first and they shouldn't have been tagging along anyway. Their mom was SO mad when my uncle dropped me off and dad was
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    disappointed in me. He asked me why I chose it and I told him it's my favorite restaurant and it's been almost 6 years since I got to eat there because they decided I can never have it while I live with them.
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    I told him it was meant to be celebrating my birthday and since | get I over when they "celebrate" me because of my stepsiblings, I didn't see why I had to do it when my uncle was taking
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    me. I told him they shouldn't have been there in the first place. I didn't want them there. He was just ୮ with my uncle. His wife heard me say her kids shouldn't have been there and she asked where my compassion is and where
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    my sibling bond went and I told her I never had one. My stepsiblings were really upset they'd been forced to watch two of us eat and that made their mom more angry at me and dad more upset with me especially because I didn't feel bad about it. AITA?
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    Having-hope3594 • 2d ago. Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [322] NTA This was your one time to pick a place that you liked. Your uncle wanted to honor you for your birthday. That's crazy that you can't even go to your preferred places when your step
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    siblings are not around. And it's also crazy that your parents forced your uncle to include them. Good for you for finally getting to enjoy a special meal.
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • I know. I hate it. They act so surprised then that I'm not close to my dad's wife or my stepsiblings.
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    Comfortable-Sea-2454 • 2d ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [364] NTA I feel for your step siblings, BUT to not to get to choose even if step sibs aren't there is all sorts of messed up.
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • IKR? I don't think my dad realizes that you don't build bonds by enforcing rules like that.
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    Gennevieve1 • 2d ago • ESH except for your stepsiblings. They just got dragged along with no fault of their own. Your parents are the for always prioritizing your stepsiblings over you. To deny you even when they aren't with you is a huge AH move.
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    You are TA for blaming your stepsiblings for something that isn't their fault. You don't have to be all BFFs with them but their allergies are real and believe me, it s ks. They didn't want to be allergic either. I get that it all started because of your parents' treatment of all of you but they aren't your enemies.
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    Your uncle is TA for dragging them along when he knew there wouldn't be anything for them to eat. Having two kids watch you eat delicious food that they can't have is very mean. He should have refused to take them, or he could have bought them some
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    takeout on the way there so they wouldn't starve. I don't blame them for being upset, I'd be upset too. This is something that your parents need to address and fix. I'm really sorry for you, none of it is your fault and yet you're being blamed. Your parents sk.
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP • 2d ago My uncle was forced to bring them or he wouldn't be allowed to take me. Dad refuses to let him spend time with just me. He has to include them too even though my uncle doesn't want to. I think he resents it as much as I do because my uncle is nothing to my stepsiblings and he doesn't want to be anything to them.
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    MajorAd2679 • 2d ago • Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ Sorry that you have such a s' ty dad and stepmonster. Make sure to study hard in school, get a part time job as soon as you can (ask your uncle for help
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    opening a bank account so they can't steal your money) and get some sponsorship for college. It's time to plan for your future and escape route. Would your uncle allow you to live with him when you're 18 to help you out?
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP • 2d ago • He would. We talk about it sometimes. He thinks it would be cool for us to live together for a while.
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    Gennevieve1 2d ago Believe me, your stepsiblings resent it too. It's not pleasant to be forced to spend time with a person who doesn't want you around. This is all on your parents. They created all this mess.
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • It's on my dad. I don't know that his wife would care if they weren't included. But dad wants to get back at my uncle.
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    Titariia 2d ago • What did your uncle say to that situation?
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP • 2d ago That I'm not close to them? He knows. He lets me vent to him when we can.
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    P magic_luver101 • 2d ago • Why is your dad trying to punish your uncle? Does he blame him for your mom's d h or something?
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    No-Elephant-5814 OP 2d ago • It's because of their friendship ending. I don't know what happened. But I know dad has tried to punish my uncle since by using my stepsiblings as the only way he can see me. And by just insulting him when they talk.

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